Trusting One Day at a Time

I had no idea what truth I spoke when I said that we needed to take things one day at a time. We have now completed week one of Todd's lay off and God has been truly supplying our needs before we even have them. Last week, we were given a grocery gift card from an anonymous person in our church two days before Todd was laid off. At the time, I thought, "We don't deserve this! There are families that don't have jobs that need it more than us." Then, we found out we were one of those families.

Last Saturday, while making breakfast, I told God that it was okay if we had to eat eggs for dinner more often. They were cheap and besides, we liked them. The next day, a wonderful woman dropped by bread and treats from a bakery as well as one dozen eggs. She told me that the Lord told her to bring us a dozen eggs. I was dumb-founded.

This past week, we received Todd's last paycheck and just as I was starting to fold to the stress that kept creeping in, we received a card from someone else in the church with a check inside. Then, Todd got a call from a friend who needed some help with a side job. We now have enough money to get us through next week as well as grocery money. I can't even begin to explain how overwhelmed with gratitude I am.

For so long, it had felt like my prayers fell into a pit of emptiness. I have spent the last four years asking God to please tell us what to do and until now, I never got an answer. I believe that He is simply telling us to trust Him to supply our needs one day at a time. Even though, I want to look at what is coming next, I know that I need to rely on Him to take care of tomorrow.

As I reflect on this whole experience, I've realized that God has not been ignoring me. As much as I have wanted Todd to return to ministry, I got comfortable with the stability of Todd's job, our home and our church. It was such a slow transformation, that I had no idea what changes were going on in my heart. Now, I realize that perhaps God needed to shake us up a bit so that He can get us past our comfort and onto the next step. I believe its already working!

I know that I should be afraid knowing that we will have to make hard decisions regarding everything from bills to pay to whether we can keep our home long term, but I'm not. I am actually really excited to see what He is going to do next.

I just have to get past today.

Numb

The last day in a half has been very overwhelming. We have been expecting this for quite some time, yet, somehow my mind really couldn't grasp the reality that Todd would be out of a job. For some time now, we have been surrounded by friends, family and co workers who have lost their jobs due to the down turn in the economy. Until now, we had been hanging on to the hope that maybe we would be able to tread water and survive. Unfortunately, we were wrong. I am so scared, overwhelmed and full of questions yet at the same time, my heart breaks for my in laws who have put their lives into this business. My father in law named the company "Banner Broach" because he liked the verse "His banner over me is love" (Song of Solomon 2:4). In these last few months I have been reminding God of this (as though He needs reminders) and claiming that verse for the company. I know that God cares for His own and I know that His banner of protection and love can redeem what is left of the company. I just wish I knew if that is His plan.

In regards to Todd and I, this new situation has brought more uncertainty. We have gone through an amazing journey these last four years of hoping, praying, weeping and even sometimes begging God to open a door for Todd to return to ministry. We have put all of our trust in the faith that He is preparing us for what He has in store. We have prayed many prayers of thanks for the home we have, jobs we have, the church we attend, but we have gotten little or no answers to what is next. Todd and I are both so anxious to move on the path God has planned for us, yet He has not allowed us to move. Maybe this will be the final step before God does something big. If so- we are ready. But maybe this could also be another trial we need to conquer before we are ready. I don't know. I do know this: God loves us and won't leave us.

That is what is pulling me through the pile of unknowns and "what ifs".

2008-Remembering the Past

This past year was pretty average compared with many of the years previous. We didn't take any big trips, have any job changes or thankfully suffer any injuries too major to mention. Yet, 2008 was still one to remember. Here's what it looked like...

January- I celebrated my 32nd birthday. My second blog of January, though, was one that still hits home. I quoted the words of Robbie Seay Band's song, "New Day" and realized that a new year doesn't always mean a new start for everyone.

February-Gosh I posted a lot! We had huge furnace issues after a company came in and "cleaned" it. I had to endure the fact that our daughter is getting older and then had even more in depth searching as I received a revelation while observing our parakeet.

March- One of my posts dealt with the question of the cyber world making it more and more difficult to have true relationships with others.

April- Caleb and I had Mommy and Son time at a Tigers Game and then we contemplated how to use the government rebate most of us were eagerly waiting for.

May- We conquered the rotting bathroom and had the opportunity to travel to Colorado to visit with Todd's sister. It was my first trip there and I really had a nice time.

June- We finished our bathroom (I still can't believe how it looks now!) then, Hannah had her dance recital.

July- We went to Manistee to camp and enjoy the sun. I had a few goofy posts that were fun to write too! Sadly, it was also the month my Dad was let go of his 35 years at Ford Motor Co.

August- We were able to enjoy the first fruits of my garden, we took a fun trip to Greenfield Village and I even did a few OOPs that month.

September- The kids were back to their old routine (last year of elementary for Hannah!)then I blogged about a proud moment I had.

October- Caleb started flag football for the first time! I also had a scary moment with what I thought was my heart. Between all of that, I participated in a fun skit at church. My biggest quest that month was what it meant to truly love like God loves.

November- Todd and I took a trip to Northern Michigan where Todd performed the ceremony for a former student in his youth group. It was a beautiful place and a wonderful weekend for just the two of us.

December- I celebrated with Todd our 13th wedding anniversary! We also had a holiday with very mixed emotions.


Now, with 2009 upon us, I am back to where 2008 began. I have no idea what lays ahead but I know that God will get us through whatever is to come. I'm ready!

Happy New Year!