Tuesday, June 26, 2007

My first song

Instead of blogging what Todd basically wrote (except maybe the "amazing" part :), I thought I'd just add a link to his blog so that you can hear my first official song. 
Go here

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

My unresolved life

Sunday, our pastor spoke on how our church will be going through many transitions over the next year and a half. Many of those changes are not even formulated and he gave an illustration by playing a beautiful jazz song. The song grew and danced around and just as you awaited the resolution... it stopped. Right there, hanging on an unresolved note. It made you want to sing out the last notes you expected to hear. It could drive you crazy if you thought about it too much or listened to it multiple times.
The last two years, I have repeatedly felt my life rang the same notes. Its as if God has created a complicated jazz song that has many twists, minor measures intermixed with major and each time I have felt He was taking me to the climax and resolution, He stops. Once again, I am left hanging on to the last note He wrote. Waiting for what I expect to hear, yet not quite knowing what the Artist has in mind. I am beginning to sense more and more that the notes I thought He intended to write may not be anywhere close to what I thought. I had this whole idea when Todd and I got married 11 1/2 yrs ago that he would go into full-time ministry and I would be the happy stay at home mother and wife. Things would be perfect and smooth. No minor notes or twists in the measures. Once reality hit, I knew that every life does not consist of such melodic tunes without taking difficult notes, even measures, along the way. Sometimes, its even the entire chorus. What I am praying for is a beautiful bridge that will bring hope to this time in my life and turn this inpatient mood of a song to one full of life and inspiration. I feel I have waited so long and listened to this song over and over so many times that sometimes it feels I will never get to hear how He intends to complete it.
I don't know if it will be a year and half such as our church will have to wait or perhaps an even longer time. I just pray for the ability to wait without trying to write the notes myself.

Friday, June 08, 2007

This is why

This past week I had a very old friend contact me through myspace. Not old as in age, but more like how long ago I knew her. We grew up down the street from each other. She had begun coming to our church, Rockpointe , and thought she had seen me there. I was really excited because not only was she someone from my past, but she is also searching out her faith! I sent her a message back and told her I'd be looking for her as well.

Then we come to this morning...

I woke up to my seven yr old telling me very proudly that he had a dream about reading and so he had been reading books. Confused that something did not feel quite right, I glanced at the clock to discover it was 25 minutes AFTER the time my kids should have been at the bus stop. AHHH!! I jumped out of bed yelling that everyone needed to get dressed quick and in 15 minutes we were out the door. While I was signing my kids into school (they were tardy for the day) another mom came in with her son.

"Do I know you?" she asked.

At first, I just brushed it off and said " I don't know."

But she was very persistent in figuring out where we had known each other from and as as began to discuss friends , I realized that she also seemed very familiar. We discovered that she was friends with a member of our previous church who I also knew. Matter of fact, we had been to many of the same small groups, parties and so on. During our quest, she asked if I sang at Rockpointe and I said "yes". Apparently, she and her family were looking for a church and had visited ours over the summer while our pastor was on vacation. We had a long conversation about churches and how they had "given up" in the search so I encouraged her to try our church again. She agreed and said she believed that is was God that brought us together.

When I returned home, I began to toss her last comment around and the more I thought about it, I became overwhelmed. My alarm clock was set for 7 am yet for some reason it never went off. God knew that unless I over slept I would not drive my kids to school and have to sign them in. He also knew Laura drove her son, but since she ALSO was late, we both ended up in the office together. How amazing can that coincidence be?

There are still times when I begin to question why God brought us to Rockpointe. We feel so at home there but yet we still have faith that God will put Todd back into ministry. It can get confusing when we try to rationalize it out. Though these encounters do not confirm why we are there, it gives me continued hope that God's bigger purpose has yet to be revealed and while we wait He is leading more sheep to join us.

That to me is extremely exciting!