Sunday, March 19, 2006


Many who will read this have already read Todd's version of our departing friend, but I need to let out my heart a bit as well. Sunday morning I was very irritated with our dog, Haley. She could be very stubborn and would frequently hide under the deck and refuse to come out. I took it like any other time and told her she could stay out in the cold if she wanted. With that, we left for church and upon returning, found her curled up in the flower bed. It was so shocking to see her lifeless body there. We called to her and even poked her gently and suddenly the reality began to sink in. She had died. It was hard to control the emotions watching our two kids melt down and sob. Our son (6 yrs) simply said "Mommy, we shouldn't have left her outside".
I have many times made comments on how much our dog annoyed me. She loved to escape into the woods behind us and roll in smelly stuff, roll all over Todd's side of the bed and leave masses of white hair behind, bark at our neighbors and so on. But in the end, I guess all I could think about was her sweet disposition and her ability to make us happy. She was a loyal dog and a part of our family for 10 yrs.
The most painful part of it all was that I wasn't with her when she died. I feel so guilty that she was dying under the deck and possibly in pain yet I was assuming she was just disobeying me.
Monday when I left for work, I tried to keep my thoughts from dwelling on her absence. When I went to pick up my keys off the table, I turned around and caught myself before saying "Goodbye, Haley". Routines like that are the hardest to deal with. I find myself worried that I did not feed her or let her in at night.

It was so hard to watch Todd lay her body in the ground. We wrapped her in a towel and I was sad that she would be put into a cold puddle that had formed in the hole. I didn't want her to be cold. I never could imagine that I would be sitting here crying over a pet two days after she departed. I feel so silly, yet the hurt is so real. I only hope that God will guide us to the next family puppy so that our hearts will once again feel a little more full.

Haley, we could never replace you. Thanks for being such a loyal friend.


At 9:36 PM, Blogger Derek said...

God bless Haley. She'd better look up my old friends Sparky and Mopsy and Tiny and Koala.

At 11:11 PM, Blogger Todd Porter said...

and my old friend mopsy

At 6:33 PM, Blogger sonflowergurl said...

and my old friend Tootsy Wootsy (named by my little bro at age 2 or 3)!

So sad to lose a beloved pet, even when they are a pain in the neck a lot of times! Rocky got out Monday and we were frantic that we'd come home to him dead on the highway.... He was fine, but it's hard to imagine life without him too!


At 3:17 AM, Blogger Katie said...

and I am sure she will have fun chasing Isis, Ashley and Aloyisius!!!!

Losing a pet is hard Kim, and I knwo you have gotten Zoey, but NEVER feel silly for sgrief over a pet. They truly become a memeber of the family


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