Going South

I just returned from a great week of camp. For me personally it was not great, but according to the many campers who went it was the "best week ever". I had the opportunity to have the role of assistant director which was exciting and overwhelming at the same time. I am not a "leader" sort of person. I 'd rather sit in the back and make sure everything is in place. It was good for me to step out and be more assertive so I am thankful for the chance.
Midweek, Todd called to say we were going down to Texas for an interview! What a thrill! I am terrified yet so relieved that we have finally made it this far with a church. I admit that moving that far seems undesirable, but my wonderful hubby has always found ways to connect the location of a church to our family. It turns out that this church is 4 hours from all of my family in OK. We wouldn't have to spend holidays alone and we could visit grandparents, cousins etc. more often than would ever be possible here in MI. Yet, the idea of living so far from our parents, siblings and their children makes me incredibly sad. I grew up in MI without the pleasure of grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles. I have never really know the love that a grandparent brings or the comradship of a cousin the same age. I really wanted that for our kids and they have had abundant love and time from all of those special people. I always have promised myself that I would never issolate my kids like I was, but deep inside I sensed that my fear would one day need to be.
I want so badly to hold onto what we have gained here. A beautiful neighborhood, wonderful neighbors, ideal schools and of course family. I know that I need to let go in order to really recieve the plans God has for us. I am trying so hard to pry my fingers open and release it all to Him. I am ready for His leading. I just need some a little more encouragement I guess.

But for now, its off to Texas.