Sunday, May 24, 2009

The Prince Charming Syndrome

When I was a little girl my absolute favorite musical was "Rogers and Hammerstein's, Cinderella". Not the more current version with Brandy as Cinderella, but the older (perhaps cheesier) version with Leslie Ann Warren. I knew all of the songs and scenes. I would go into our basement with a few friends who would graciously play the parts of the evil step sisters and reenact the moment when I, Cinderella, first spot the prince at the ball. I loved that glimmer in their eyes, the pause and speechless anticipation as she gently glides down the staircase and joins hands with the prince (who swiftly sweeps her onto the dance floor). It was magical.

I recently was in a conversation with a close friend about the process of figuring out which church is the "ONE". I think part of me is expecting this magical breathtaking moment where we will just "know" its where we are suppose to go. We have had some that felt like the "one" and others that just didn't do anything for us. My friend finally asked something so simple, yet so very profound. She said, "Do you remember when you would dream of the moment when you would finally meet the one you were going to marry? Did you believe, like most little girls, that it would be 'love at first sight'? Do you think that perhaps you are expecting the same thing with finding the right church?" It seems so immature to think that way, yet I really think she was right. I AM expecting "love at first sight". Another pastor friend of ours told Todd that sometimes is not about feeling peace, but about doing God's will, no matter how it feels. I think our heads and hearts were in the expectation that our feelings will just tell us where to go but the truth is, feelings are not always reliable. Sometimes, they reflect too much of our flesh and selfishness. Sometimes, they just reveal our preconceived ideas or perceptions. They are not always tied up closely to God's will.

This new revelation does not make our task any easier, but it gives me a different perception. In some ways, its even a relief. It takes the focus off of me and onto truly seeking God's will. It means that if I feel "bad" about a situation or maybe just "uneasy" I don't need to focus on that. I just need to keep my eyes steady on the path that He is making and follow obediently. If it means things may be uncomfortable then I'll be a bit uncomfortable knowing that the God who formed me and knows my deepest desires also loves me more than I could imagine and wants the very best for me.

Music Meme

So, My friend, Adam, tagged me in this random "fill in the blank" questionnaire.

Here is my attempt and what you need to do:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool!

Opening Credits: Not to Us -Chris Tomlin

Waking Up: How Great is Our God -Chris Tomlin

First Day At School: Yakety Yak-The Coasters

Falling In Love: Mele Kalikimaka- Bing Crosby (If you know this song you are officially cool!)

Fight Song: Prodical -Casting Crowns

Breaking Up: The Christmas Song -Vince Guaraldi

Prom: While you were sleeping -Casting Crowns (Is that inappropriate??:)

Life: Never Give Up- Darlene Zschech (Hey, I like that!)

Mental Breakdown: America- Chris Tomlin (LOL)

Driving: Have a Nice Day -Bon Jovi (Awesome driving song!)

Flashback: White Christmas -Bing Crosby

Getting Back Together: Amazing - Matt Redman (I guess if it was a bad break up this would be true!)

Wedding: Overflow - Chris Tomlin (I seem to see a theme with Chris going here)

Birth of Child: Lifesong -Casting Crowns (wow that one fits good too!)

Final Battle: Satisfy - Tenth Avenue North

Death Scene: Unchanging- Chris Tomlin (Yep, I have to agree with that.)

Funeral Song: Till I See You -Hill Song (Appropriate!)

Remembrance Song: Never Say Never -The Fray

End Credits: Come let us Worship -Chris Tomlin

I’m tagging Lisabeth, Michelle and Amy T.

Friday, May 08, 2009

Rainbow in the Midst of the Storm

This evening, Hannah and I were planting some Marigolds in the flowerbeds to add color for our ninth showing at our house tomorrow. I didn't want to spend a lot of money so I only bought a small amount, but it was amazing what a difference they made. Just as I got to the last flowerbed, thunder began to roll in and so I frantically planted the rest and hurried inside. A few minutes later, the wind began to blow, rain began to pelt the ground and the fresh crisp scent of spring filled the house. Safely inside, I enjoyed just watching from the window as the new flowers got their first taste of rainwater. It was euphoric.

As we have struggled through the last five months, I have been amazed how that same feeling has been with me. I know that we are facing so much "unknown" and I can hear the thunder and see the storms rolling in, yet, I feel safe. Safe inside, protected from the wind and rain and noise. Instead of trying to dodge each obstacle, it has become increasingly like we are just able to sit back and watch God move. I suppose there are many people who go through their entire lives being able to see God visibly maneuver. We have not had that privilege. For the longest time, we have been praying with no answers. Waiting, with no end in sight. But lately, that has changed. As we have let go of the things we have taken for granted, a job, a house, we have been given small glimpses of God doing something. I am still not sure where we will be in three months, but I know God has something planned for us. And even more, I am at peace with whatever that is.

In the middle of the rain, I glanced outside again and caught sight of a stunning burst of color in the sky. The rainbow stretched in a giant arch over the distant horizon and I grabbed the camera to capture the moment. I was so caught up with the excitement, that I barely noticed the rain that was quickly soaking one half of me. It was a beautiful moment.

I am so hopeful that soon, we too, will see our "rainbow". I can sense its coming. And I can't even imagine the joy we will feel when it finally breaks out across our lives.

We are ready.